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The Man's Guide to Wedding Planning

Updated: Jun 1, 2018

As a guy who went through this not too long ago I feel like I am somewhat versed on the topic. I am by no means perfect however, and fights will happen, but I will try and help you know what to do when dealing with wedding planning.

As a recent groom myself, I feel I am somewhat versed on this topic. I am by no means perfect, but I will try and give you some tips and advice when dealing with wedding planning.

First and foremost be her rock.

Wedding planning is hard and it gets very stressful! Honestly, I was the same as most of you. Us men could care less about the colors, the flowers, or even if the table linens clash with the decorations. But remember, these are the fine details that are going to stress your lady out to no end and at some point, it is going to fall onto you to help make some "decisions". I use the word "decisions" loosely because most of the time you will not have to make that decision at all. You will need to sit there and listen. Listen to her through her rambling story of how bridesmaid #4 is wanting strapless dresses while the maid of honor wants cocoa as her dress color. When she is done venting reminder her that no matter what they say that she gets to make the final decison and gets to tell them what she wants. Then its your job to have her back as she makes the decision. Trust me, she knows what she wants. Most woman have been planning their wedding for years, long before you even came into the picture. It is just helping her gather her thoughts and backing up her decisions that will help out the most.


This is crucial because if you don't put forth a little effort and try to help out, it will bite you in the ass sooner or later. The decision may between seven different color swatches and what goes together best, which you have no clue because you can't even find matching socks to wear in the morning, but it is not the ability to match colors as much as it is the effort you are putting into helping her choose. She will appreciate the effort more than anything. This also provides another opportunity to be her rock and support her through this tough time of deciding between pearl white or snow white linens. So, when she asks you to turn off the video game or come out of your man cave, sit there and help her decide, because it is a lot easier to show you care than to deal with a cranky soon to be wife.

Finally, make sure you have a voice if it matters to you.

During wedding planning, you will find certain things that you will be more passionate about than others, don't worry this is normal. Remember this day is about both of you not just her. For me, I wanted a trolley to take us from the church to the reception. I also wanted grey tuxedos because I didn't want it to look like a funeral up at the altar. Did I know ahead of time that I would remotely care how we got anywhere that day or what I was going to wear as long as we said I do? No! But when I realized I had a strong opinion, I brought it up to my fiancé and we discussed it. Understand this though, bringing it up and voicing your opinion will not always guarantee you getting your way. My wife was pretty easy going when it came to the items I requested, but if my opinion would have been that the color purple could not be in our wedding… that would have been a different story. It is about showing you care and 9/10 times a compromise will be made and you will both get some of what you want.

All in all, being there for her and showing you care about your big day will be the perfect amount of help you can provide her with while planning your wedding. Some brides may require more help and some brides may require no help at all, but if you are there for them it will be a great experience when the big day comes.

Congrats and hopefully this helps!

Ryan Vonnahme

Vonnahme Productions

Wedding Videographers Eau Claire, WI

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